Let’s get back to our what now happens to be a semi-regular section – ‘What that spam comment said’
I wrote about my feelings for the spam comments here and here. And if you haven’t read it, you should. Because this is not a democracy.
Anyway, here is a rather lengthy comment I got and I have to tell you I read all of it.
Because it’s full of flattery and even though I’m a reasonable person and understood it to be untrue, I couldn’t help making myself believe especially nice sections. Here’s what I mean: ‘If all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful’. I know, right? It’s hard to disagree with this line of thinking. After all, I do have a whole section called useful and not so useful information. It’s like you’re talking to my soul, spam comment.
Then it follows with ‘Well written!’ Please continue, I’m listening.
Then it sort of sidetracks and gives off the fact that it’s a spam comment by saying ‘I can’t find your email subscription.’ Well, it pops right in your face if you stay longer than 30 seconds on the website. By the way, for those of you who are not spam comments and get annoyed by the subscription pop up – firstly, everybody’s doing it so don’t blame me and secondly it’s for your own good. Somehow. I don’t want to talk about it.
Continued: ‘It’s time to be happy.’ As in happy hour? As in let’s have a drink and its 12 o’clock somewhere? Not exactly clear, so don’t go off running and getting wasted.
‘Perhaps you could write subsequent article about this article’ Why, I think that’s exactly what I’m doing. And I bet that spam comment didn’t expect anyone to follow through on that request. Merry Christmas.
Then it says again that ‘it’s time to be happy’. I think it might have some substance abuse issues. Stop it with the alcohol reference already.
‘Wow, this article is nice, my sister is analyzing these kinds of things.’ Hey, I have a sister too! We’re so much alike. But then if you’re a spam comment, would that make your sister a computer virus or something. I wonder.
And then it just keeps on saying how excellent my website is on and on and on. To the point, that I don’t think I have it in me to delete this comment. I’ll just keep it and come back to it during moments of sadness.
And then I got another spam comment that just gave a link to buy something. So I had to click on it. Obviously. But first I googled what it was telling me to buy because I’m smart like that. And it was a drug called Doxycycline that, according to Wikipedia, can cure pneumonia, acne, chlamydia infection, Lyme disease, cholera and syphilis. All of that with one drug. I was pretty amazed and it definitely sounded like something everyone should keep in their medicine cabinet. In case you get that acne outbreak before an important meeting, or in case that syphilis starts acting up again.
Thinking shut up and take my money, I followed the link but to my disappointment it wasn’t selling the miracle drug. It did turn out to be a rather useful website anyway. Where I could have my biological sciences testing done, while playing casual games, while listening to indie music, AND receiving a loyalty card for that, along with office furniture, a Pontiac, and some Right-Wing Politics (that actually go well with a Pontiac), while finishing with some word games because who doesn’t love those.
So, cheers to the absurdities in life.