The meaning of life, and why you should be nervous

If you ever catch yourself thinking about the meaning of life that just means you have a lot of free time on your hands. Trust me, I know.

I went to visit my family over the weekend whom included my mom, my sister, her husband, his brother, his daughter, and my two little nieces. Point being, it was a lot of people all related to each other. And most of the time we spent was either setting up for the table, or cleaning up from the table. And the brief moments in between. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my family but there is a lot of logistics involved in any given task directly proportional to the number of people in your immediate proximity. Meaning the house was a mess, and we all spent time constantly looking for one another because there always is that one missing person. Like I get ‘Home Alone’ now, it’s easy to lose a head count at one point or another.

And it was loud but in the best way possible, air was filled with conversations, and laughter, and screaming babies. Laughing babies too, and that stuff is just freaking adorable. My head was also pounding. Because I mostly live alone, my boyfriend travels a lot, and when he’s home he usually doesn’t act like a laughing/screaming baby.  Unless, it’s a mutual agreed upon role game that we do. Which we totally don’t. So anyway, this means in my free time I have silence. Which let’s my mind wonder and think about shit like:

-What if instead of cleaning I just move to another apartment

-I have a weird feeling like I need new eyes

-That movie on anorexia last night was good…I wish I had her disease

-I wonder if there’s like a disease swapping agency

-Maybe I could begin a start-up and develop my own app like: ‘sick and tired of that boring bipolar disorder? Get anorexia today, with an added bonus of low self esteem, and commitment issues’

-I should definitely clean, moving is too much work

-Although probably a good work out

– I worked out today, I should probably have another beer

-I wonder if animals go to heaven

-That quarterly earnings report I finished at work today was really good. Man I’m so good at my job sometimes

-I hate my job

-I wish I had children now that I can’t have any

-I probably don’t really mean that

-In fact, I think I need a badge that says ‘I’m mentally ill, I didn’t have children, YOU’RE WELCOME’

And of course that classic

-I wonder what the meaning of life is

Point being as I was talking to my sister complaining about my soul’s struggles, she was like ‘shoot man, I never stop for a second to think about any of that because I don’t have any seconds to stop and think’. And that made me stop and think, pun intended, maybe I’m like supposed to be thinking on behalf of ALL of mankind. Or like quarter of mankind. In that case, I’ve go some thinking to do.

Also, you should probably be nervous

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