Today is the first day of Fall. And I’m happy about this. I was going to be upset about it. You know, about the fact that summer is over. But screw summer, it’s hot and sticky. Fall is so much better. It gets cooler. You get to wear sweaters. I just love wearing sweaters. They’re warm, and soft, and cozy, and made in Vietnam by some kid. Although, I try not to think about that last part.
Also, what’s up with starting seasons in the middle of the month, ‘merica? Is anybody else bothered by this? Isn’t it just easier to start things, I don’t know, in the beginning? Like even with all my relationships, I just tell them ‘our anniversary shall be on the 1st. Yeah, no. I’m not going to remember 17th, sweetie. I know that’s the actual date we met, it’s just not going to register with me. Ever. So the 1st it is. You can pick the month.’ Did you know I’m not single? I know, crazy.
I found this really great website with awesome articles. They’re funny too. But like smart funny. And I almost don’t want to share it with you because then you might not come back to see me. But I will anyway, and you just swear on your mother’s grave that you come back to see me. It’s McSweeney’s. Also don’t swear on your mother’s grave, especially if she’s alive. What is wrong with you people? I submitted an article to them yesterday. And I would say I’m nervous about this, but I’m not. I’m hopeful. And I almost don’t want to receive a response back, and just live in this sweet, hopeful feeling. Some Thursday wisdom coming right at ya. Also, I do want a response back. Hurry up, McSweeney’s.
I cleaned my apartment on Tuesday, and I finally know now what my goal in life is. To be able to afford a cleaning lady. And technically I can afford a cleaning lady already, but I’m still at the point where it would be too weird to actually hire one. I’m young, and able, and could use those money on booze. I mean, is that too much to ask? A girl can hope. I should probably write to the kid in Vietnam who made my sweater, and ask his opinion on my first world problems. Now, that’s just ridiculous. I would never be able to find an address for that kid.
I found out my oven works last night. I’ve been living in this apartment for the past two months, and I finally got around to using it. And that’s all you need to know about me as an adult. I was also pretty excited. Because then buying a Trader Joe’s frozen pizza without knowing you have a working oven would be pretty stupid. It’s the little things in life.
So, go on and put that sweater on. But not yet because it’s like 80 degrees still.
P.S. You guys, I just got scolded on Instagram. And I’m not sure how I feel about this, so I’m putting it here.
This was the picture.
And so I commented with the first thing that came to my mind.
-Did the girl on the left get there by accident? *laughing face*
Because I mean, look at the other three. They’re all tattooed, and crazy hair, and make up. I mean talk about visual misbalance. You’re the photographer, you should know better. Was she running late, or was she feeling in for somebody who didn’t show up? And by the way this user thought I was hilarious.
I got a direct message that read:
-I just want to say that I had to delete your comment cause I believe that girl on the left should not read it ok? I was not kind as you may know.
To which I thought Cheesus Christ people are sensitive these days. So I wrote back:
-Point taken. It was still funny though [because it was]. Didn’t mean it in a bad way. Really
-Thank you very much for your understanding and for following me.
He still cares about my follow. That’s sweet. Also, I’m staying off of Instagram for a while. Also, thank you that lonely user with a sense of humor.