Rather Random Ramblings

So I was thinking about lying. No particular reason. Or maybe one particular reason. Or person. Or not.

But why do people lie. Let’s try and do a breakdown on the nature of lying.


First of all lying is bad. And that’s a lie. But seriously, when you’re a kid that’s what they tell you, they tell you not to do it. Then they put you through school and college, give you a job, and tell you to lie your ass off. Because that’s just how capitalism works. Maybe it’s just too hard to explain capitalism to a four year old, and that would make sense then. That’s why your parents just say ‘Lying? No, don’t do it.’ But what they should say ‘Don’t do it. Yet. You should definitely retain the whole skill set of lying, and probably practice lying to the cat. Just pretend he’s your boss. But definitely don’t lie openly until you’re at least 18. Then you’re mature enough to lie in order to get a job, in order to pay taxes, and then it’s ok.’


Lying in certain situation is socially acceptable, or scratch that, is socially required. You’re obviously not allowed to tell someone that their child is ugly. I find that nobody appreciates this honesty. Or let’s even extend this and include adults. Because generally speaking you’re not allowed to tell ugly people that they’re ugly. I’m not sure what’s to point of this. They already know.


When someone happens to tell you about their problem you are socially required to lie and pretend interest/concern/empathy. So do we really think when God was making commandments he said ‘Thou shall not lie. Unless, it’s someone else’s dead cat. Then you should totally lie, and ask to look at picture.’ You might say why do you bother with dead cats so much? And I’ll answer you – because this actually happened. I had a friend come up to me and say ‘Oh, my Fluffy (or whatever) died last night.’ And so naturally I said ‘Well, your cat was old…’ Because it was true! Damn it, mom. You said lying is bad.


You’re also socially required to lie to assholes. Especially, if you work together. Because apparently it has something to do with human rights and/or feelings, which assholes apparently have as well. But unlike ugly people, assholes don’t know they’re assholes. So, then it becomes an elaborate web of lies around the asshole by everyone else, just so he/she could live in harmony with others. Which I mostly deem as a necessary measure. Especially because you get to talk shit about them behind their back.


What’s even more baffling to me, apart from the actual phenomenon of lying, is the fact that you’re supposed pretend not to notice it. So, you’re supposed to lie about lying. Because you can’t simply sit in a meeting and go ‘well, that’s a fucking lie’. You can’t interrupt a phone conversation and say ‘excuse me sir, I think you’re a liar. And a bad one at that.’  And finally you’re not supposed to tell your doctor she’s a freaking liar and is giving you treatment only based on the amount of money she’ll get form your insurance. Because you googled all the symptoms, and that’s not what google says. Also actually happened. Don’t do it. Lie, people, just lie.


So, remember. If you’re a parent, tell your kids not to lie. Yet.


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2 thoughts on “Rather Random Ramblings

  1. White lies = okay. Of course okay. Of course your baby is cute/preschooler is gifted/artwork you worked on for days is beautiful. Lying to oneself = sometimes necessary to get through the day. Fake it til you make it! Politicians’ empty promises during election campaigns = expected. Simple enough to assume the opposite is true. Bald-faced porkies told variously by the Brexit Leave Campaign and pathological liar Donald Drumpf should be called Criminal Bullshit and prosecuted! It’s truly disturbing and I don’t understand how they get away with it. Just for once I’d love a reporter/ opponent to say for us what we’re all thinking and just go “You are so full of shit.”

    1. This last one is my ultimate wish for the whole world. To be able to yell ‘fucking lies’ to the fucking liars. One can only humbly dream.

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