No baked goods please

Since my last post was named ‘Wrapping up the year of 2016’ it almost feels like I’m not allowed to have any posts this year any more. I might have wrapped up the year too soon. We have another week to go, but I’m so ready. Bring it, 2017. Or actually don’t bring it. Let’s just chill the fuck out.

Speaking of chilling, I had 4 days off last week (that is, including the weekend) and it was glorious. I had some ‘personal business’ to attend to, if you will. But I also had 4 damn days in a row to do as I see fit, with no stitches involved (read my Thanksgiving tale for this to make sense). And I slept so much, one morning I found my cat holding a mirror next to my nose. Don’t be ridiculous, cats don’t even have mirrors, but you get the point. I got caught up on all my mindless TV watching. And of course I ate. Which sucks, but then again it’s holidays, and nobody escapes holidays without putting some extra ‘holiday spirit’ into thighs and chin. Unless you do, then I hate your skinny ass.

And then finally Sunday, my significant other suggested we go out into the world, and see some light. Reluctantly I agreed because nothing beats a combo of sweatpants and a blankie. And I mean nothing. I just like to look sexy when I’m home. Only replace sexy with a blankie.

Anyway, so first we got to Williamsburg and it was empty, and deserted. Everything closed, and not a single hipster in sight. Only a bunch of disappointed tourists. And so I was like ‘wow, who knew hipsters like Christmas so much.’ But apparently, they do. Either that, or everyone got really really drunk the night before. Or it could be both, and somebody thought that ‘shots for baby Jesus’ was a good idea.

Our plan to have brunch at Radegast Beer Garden failed miserably. Or failed regularly, if you’re an optimist. They were closed. There was this young, nice fella across the street reeking of holiday spirit.

He found his home in my Instagram feed.

Feeling extremely hungry, we started panicking because almost every other restaurant was closed. It was unsettling, New York is the city that’s not supposed to sleep. Yet, here it was in broad daylight, and just closed, like some sort of country village store (no offense if you’re a country village store and reading this). After giving it a thought, we realized that Asian and Jewish places should still be open. So there it was, we had a choices of sushi or bagels, as our fine Christmas celebratory meal. We went with sushi. Just because they serve beer. And after mopping around the area some more, I suggested we go to the city, hoping to see a more livelier scene.

And it was almost identically closed, and deserted. I’ve never seen Manhattan like that before. But then again, I never went for a walk on a Christmas day before. And if you decide to visit New York, and can spare this day to spend away from your family, this is probably the ideal time. You’re welcome. Gratitude in the form of $5 bills is accepted (no baked goods please).

I’ll be honest, I personally didn’t like it. It didn’t feel like a  ‘proper’ New York. It was too quite, and not crowded enough, and almost too nice. But then we had Bloody Marys at this one miraculously open place, and it felt all better. Must have been the holiday spirit. Or spirit of some sort.


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