Have you ever been temporarily dumped? Not dumped for forever and ever. But like when you make plans to see someone and spend time together and then they leave for a week. Because supposedly work emergency. Arguably this is even worse than being permanently dumped because then you get to be mad, sad, and move on. Here you’re dumped for a while you go through mad, and sad phases but then you don’t get to move on because they come back and you’re sort of glad, sort of still offended, sort of not sure how the hell to act. Just theoretically speaking. Sort of.
Anyway, Wednesday was supposed to be a culture infused evening. As my girlfriends and I set out to visit the newly opened Museum of Feelings, which is a hot new thing in the City. I know these things, so you don’t have to. Also, I know them because Facebook does target market advertising tailored to my interests.
By the way, this actually happened and now I’m convinced that Facebook is spying on us. You’ve all seen the artfully-placed ads in your FB feed that a lot of times seem to be reading your mind. Well, I’ve been suffering from fits of cough for the past month as an aftermath of a bad cold, and my asthmatic/smoker status (which makes perfect sense in some parallel universe). As I was in the middle of one of those, FB gave me an ad for a Vapor rub. Because FB is LISTENING to us. Fair warning, you might want to cut down on cursing in the face of The Great Book of Face (see what a clever play of words I did there).
But back to the Museum of Feelings, which we did not get to attend because there was over an hour wait line at the door. For a museum, people. Just let that sink in and appreciate the level of fancy this city has. We voted against cultural enlightening that evening. And ended up in Sephora because apparently that’s were upset females go to release their life troubles. And also to spend unreasonable amounts of money on scented tubes that promise to have your face lifted, and shiny, and energized. Hey, if mother nature failed to do it I’m sure Sephora can fix that.
On Thursday, my mom took me to the doctor. And I mean that literary. She made an appointment, met me there, and even went to the examining room with me. What can I say, sometimes you just need your mommy. I got prescribed antibiotics for my cough (Ha, Facebook! I’m not listening to your advice). And then my mom got a worried look and said ‘you do realize you can’t drink with antibiotics.’ To which I responded ‘Sure, no problem. But I’m starting them on Monday.’ Because what insane person willingly commits themselves to an alcohol-free weekend. Not this one.
P.S. Did you know today is #nationalcoockieday? If you can’t bake them, eat them.