Remember them assholes at McSweeney’s who rejected my article? Well, they’re not assholes at all. As a fellow blogger commented ‘congratulations on getting a rejection’. And these words resonated so perfectly, and it was sweet, and cool, and you should check out Chris at FreeThinkersAnonymous.
As I said in my previous post, I was planning to work on another submission and take my time, this time around (time and time, I know. I’m not fixing that. I’m a good writer though). It just so happened that I went and wrote them another piece the following day. And it might get rejected still, but I’m so proud of that motherF-ing baby. Like I could die happy now. Like I now probably understand the miracle of childbirth. And you know, rejected or not, you’ll still get to read it, so it’s a win-win situation. Like see, I’m a fucking optimist now, all of a sudden. Like I might start sending you inspiration quotes. Let’s not get crazy. That won’t ever happen.
I made a painting. Because I’m weird like that. I was looking at stuff on Instagram, and if you search hard enough you come across some really interesting characters. Oh, some backstory here first. Technically speaking I can draw. I’m not good with humans, or faces, or realistic depiction of life, but thanks god for Modern Art since you can just doddle things now. And thanks god for modern technology since you can just use stencils. I’m not sure if this still qualifies as art since you’re basically just coloring shapes, but who am I to say I’m not a goddamn Michelangelo.
So, as I was browsing through Instagram I saw a cool painting and it read ‘stencils and acrylic spray-paint’. And I was like ‘hey, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable waste of time for an adult, I want to try it’. And can I give a shout out to my significant other, he was totally cool with the idea. We went antique store shopping on Sunday. Because we’re both weird like that. And I bought a washing board from 1950s. And I’m laughing so hard right now because I can hear you thinking ‘Jesus Christ lady, how weird will it get?’ I am planning on hanging the washing board on my wall. That much weird.
As we were on our way driving from one store to the next, I went ‘hey, let’s go buy some paints’. And we did. We went to Michael’s, and I need you to know we were the only ones in the art supply store, buying art supplies. There was a huge line. With housewives holding decorative squashes, and silly-faced scarecrows. It must be fall yall. On our way home, I already had the whole painting figured out in my head. I wanted it to have yellow background. That was pretty much it. Once I had my yellow background, ideas came as I worked through it. And I put on the weirdest music I could find on my playlist, and it was glorious. I just sat crouched on the floor, with pounding music around me, deciding which circle thingy I want draw next.
Then my significant other peeled me away from the floor for dinner, and put on a movie. And it was a seriously good movie about 2008 market crash, The Big Short. But all that ignorant magic I was in, a moment ago, vanished. I was getting mad about economy, politics, bureaucracies, inefficiencies, and necessity of all of the above. And all I can tell you is do watch the movie, but not after working on a stencil painting. Some solid advice if you ask me.
And why of course, here it is.