Don’t Thank Mom and God

It was my birthday on Tuesday. Happy birthday to me. I felt so special and blessed…not really. Probably because it was a Tuesday. And correct me if I’m wrong, but it is usually really really hard to feel special on Tuesdays. Or any other day of the workweek, for that matter. You do however get a brief bonus of feeling fucking invincible on Fridays. But there’s that.


I got a bunch of congratulatory calls and messages, of course. And it was nice. A bunch of Facebook notifications too. And I have this rule that I respond to each person individually with a thank you, and a smiley face if I actually like you. And I really celebrate myself for creating this rule. I really celebrate myself in general, but this especially makes me think extra nice thoughts of myself. Because here’s a thing, what most people do is next day they just respond with a generic ‘I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday. Also, I want to thank my mom, God, and hope for world peace.’ And my problem with that is, if somebody took the time NOT to ignore Facebook’s instruction ‘It’s this person’s birthday, quit being a dick, and say something nice’,  and actually wrote you that ‘Happy Birthday’, and maybe even threw in an emoji, the least you can do is take three seconds of your life and write a ‘thank you’ back. These are just basic Facebook ethics, people. That I created. Follow them.


But I’m somewhat lying because I did have special plans for the evening. My significant other made a restaurant reservation. Wait for it. To a French restaurant. Which I might have, or might have not, casually mentioned to just about every person that day – ‘thank you, thank you for that birthday wish. Plans? No, nothing special. Just a French restaurant. You heard it. As in French. As in  very fancy.’  And you know what I had? A truffle risotto. And there was wine. And angels were signing in perfect harmony while somebody was gently playing harp in the background. But in all seriousness we did have great food, and a bottle of wine, and the check came out to about $100. So it’s very much accessible, and you don’t have to be as fancy as me to spoil yourself sometimes. Go and visit Juliette. Tell them I sent you. And nothing will happen.


Let’s see, what else happened. Completely unrelated but I found this new game called 2048 (just numbers), and it’s suuuper addictive. Like I was totally busted at work playing it. But then I made my boss download it too. And now we’re both addicted.


My love for twitter is growing. Come and find me there. For example, I had an Adele GIF war with this girl on twitter, the other day. An actual lengthy exchange of Adele’s moving faces, as a form of conversation. And later I found out she works for Microsoft. So as I was talking to my significant other, I said ‘hey remember that time when I was supposed to be cleaning, but couldn’t because I was in the middle of Adele GIF war. That girl works for Microsoft. Cool right?’ I’m not sure he completely appreciated significance of that moment. So I added ‘And. I did clean eventually.’ Which is true. I did clean. But right after I was finished with Adele GIF war.


And I leave you with that. Here’s a picture of me looking all thoughtful and stuff. Because this is kind of my birthday post, so I get to do that.



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