Dia Beacon – the far away place with erotic poems

SOO…I did it kids. I found meself an apartment. Bitching about the process last week might have forced the universe to listen and quite possibly go ‘well, this is just damn right ridiculous, give this sad little person something’. And I actually got more than something because it’s a fairly decent apartment. And I’m afraid to say more because then I’ll jinx it, and it will get blown up or something. Anyway, I have a shit load of moving and what-not stuff ahead of me, and I’m exhausted, but mostly relieved. Also, whilst in this gruesome process I came across this app Naked Apartments, and it’s actually how I found my place. So check it out if you will. Fair Warning: apartment nudity is present. Also, I think it’s only good for New York metro area, so there is that. And if you’re one of the million readers from across the globe that my ego likes to imagine I have, you can just use the app to look at New York apartments and weep for us.

 

So that’s a quick status update. And more to come on the settling in process. I’m sure I’ll manage to break some objects, or parts of myself, or other people. I’m open minded like that.

 

What I really wanted to tell you about was the cool place I got to visit this Saturday, and it’s called Dia: Beacon. It’s a museum of contemporary art, or the weird shit, as I call it, and it’s all the way in upstate New York. Like far. Like seriously, a 2 hour drive on a good day. And I’m trying to think of ways to justify this distance, but there is none. The drive will be long, and you’ll be miserable, and you’ll regret it. Unless you like long, miserable drives, then this is totally a trip for you.

 

If you do actually decide to go, and once you do make it to the place, probably just go ahead and visit it. Because you’re already there, that’s why. I’m not sure why I have to clarify this for you. But in all seriousness the place is gorgeous. Just the space alone. It used to be a factory way back when people actually manufactured stuff. I know, eww. And for some reason these sometime practical spaces are ideal for just laying stuff around, and charging an entrance fee. I’m pretty sure it’s like a universal rule of Hipster. May his name be never used in vain.

 

The first hall you walk into is really cool. But coincidentally, or is it, it’s also the only place you’re not allowed to photograph. So keeping with the mystery, I won’t tell you more. Also, I can almost feel you cringing with curiosity. And I may, or may not, be getting satisfaction from this.

 

This is the second hall, and you’re allowed to photograph it.

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Probably because it’s just piles of metal.

 

The place is huge, and even if you come across something you don’t like there’s stuff to move on to. And you will find some questionable things. Like this one room that was just white. And all of us went ‘what the fuck?’

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But then we read the explanation card thingy, and it said that it’s all white using different materials and brush strokes. And once you read that, and looked closer you could sort of, kind of see it. So the moral of the story do know how to read once you go.

 

My favorite part of all was the basement. Might be because of the poem incident. In this one corner they had a huge stack of prints, and it’s one of those where everyone can grab one to go. So thinking ‘free stuff!’ I took it, but then thinking ‘don’t be an ass’, I decided to read it. And it was a poem about how leaning against the wall can be erotic. I’m dead serious. So then as I was trying to discretely put it back into the pile, this guy who also just finished reading it went ‘Nope! Not taking that.’  So then we quickly threw the sheets back, and laughed, and laughed. Nothing more satisfying than meeting a kindred soul. Who doesn’t appreciate erotic wall poetry.

 

What I did appreciate was this green lit space. Don’t know, it was just cool.

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And this spider. Because who doesn’t love giant spiders.

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So there you have it. Stay cool friends. As in air-conditioned. Or as in hipster. Either way. But probably go with air-conditioned because it’s so damn hot.

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