Somebody is so going to rape, and kill me now

It’s been interesting lately. Busy also. To the point that I’ve lost track of days. It’s been busy at work. Just so you understand, Halloween was ‘one of those days’ that only this picture can somewhat express it. And instead of going to a Halloween party, I went to get a haircut because the whole Chewbacca look was going to last my romantic relationship only that far. And I went to a now local place for me, called Hair Metal. And needless to say, I was met by a trio of gorgeous badass women, with real bad pouty mouths, and stories of New York...

Dearly Beloved, legitimized hipsters

Dearly Beloved, I now pronounce this cite a legitimate hipster guide. After searching high, and low for the past several months, I have found the apartment. Or it has found me, just something us mindful beings like to say. For the apartment is located in Williamsburg, or as the Instagram check-in refers to it Hipster Motherland. This wasn’t an intentional search result, but when the opportunity presented a place with not one, but two non-functioning fireplaces, the choice was obvious. How can one resist an exposed brick wall. Nohow. Yesterday, my significant other and I spent a lot of time...

Oysters and the Rope

I have some good news, and bad news. Good news is I’m going on vacation, bad news is you’re not. Or actually you might be going on vacation also, but like not with me. Because that would be weird. I’m going to London, and I am pretty psyched about it. Mostly because literally everybody will be talking with an accent. And British accent is one of my top ten favorite things ever. And I really hope I pick up some, if not, all of that fine accent for the duration of this trip, that way my return back to New...

It’s not a good bye, and more like see ya later

Tonight is my last night in Brooklyn. And I’m mostly sweaty and cranky from all the packing. And even though I make a commitment not to clutter myself with stuff, I clutter myself with stuff. This time around I even went through my books, which I NEVER normally do. Because I’m that crazy that picks up book from everywhere and brings them home. But I put up a good portion of mine hopefully to get picked up by the neighbors, or get recycled into cereal boxes, whatever. I guess, I’m emrassing the 21st century. And I’ve been feeling nostalgic this...

On moving, tax evasion, and some good reads

It has not been fun lately. Like it has been occasionally fun, but an overall feeling has been problems, on top of problems, on top of bills. I’m in the middle of moving, and half of my stuff is at one place and half of it is at the other, and I can’t keep track which is where so my wardrobe decisions have been questionable at best. Like people at work must be wondering whether all of a sudden I went due to an unfortunate gambling accident. Speaking of people at work, do you ever think about how much time...

Brooklyn Hipster goes undercover, or how to ruin a nice neighborhood in 12 weeks

So I guess a lot has been going on lately, and I didn’t feel like writing about it since I felt like I had to process it on my own first. And I’m not done processing it, so you good people might as well help me or something. I might be moving. Again. You see, my Brooklyn apartment lease is expiring end of June, and that’s not really the problem since I did get the lease extension, but super indent of the building that lives directly beneath me is. Point being, he’s been a real pain in the ass. He...

I don’t have any good news

What is there to tell you guys, firstly working hard doesn’t pay off. Like it pays, but after a certain period you’re like ‘oh fuck it, I’m just going to go raise chickens from now on.’ Which for me is a two-fold sentence because when I was little I spent summers at my grandmother’s who actually had live chickens. And they just shit all over the place. Trust me, they’re only cute on the internets. What is up with the news. Have you stopped following the news? Because I have. And then I took a break and started following the...

Dear Lord, I Wonder If That’s Your Real Name

A fellow blogger of mine, Chris at Freethinkers Anonymous just wrote about receiving rejection for his Mcsweeney’s submission. And that reminded me about the time I received by own Mcsweeney’s rejection. And Mcsweeney’s is a pretty big deal for us, and receiving a rejection from them is bittersweet. But this also reminded me that I never published my submission here due to various reasons that more easily summarize as insecurity. It still is probably my most favorite creation to date. Also, tomorrow is my birthday so I get to do whatever I want. All those easily offended enter at your own...

My niece thinks she’s the princess. She’s right.

Yesterday was my niece’s first birthday. And it was special. It was special because I happen to like her a lot. I also helped her bring into this world. Totally happened read about it here, also Twitter helped. So I guess I felt like it was a celebration of me because I’m her godmother also, and because why the he’ll not. In all seriousness, my sister and her husband are doing a great job in raising her. I mean the child is alive, so obviously. Also, she is one happy baby. This part is a coincidence? But she’s our only...

Get your discount for organic tampons NOW

First things first, remember the good people of LOLA I told you about in my last post? Well, we did end up getting in contact with each other, and they did give me a promo code for friends, and family, and what not. And since you’re my friends, and family, and what not here it is: lkolisnyk2 for a $5 discount. And before you wine that it’s so small, just check them out, and make a conscious decision about signing up with them. And I’m just possibly saving you $5. Buy extra gum with it or something. Today was another snowstorm...