Call me professional interviewer

So, today I got a rejection for yet another corporate interview I attended. Some back story would be appropriate here. I’ve been looking for another job for about a year now. Sad, I know. Not because I’m unemployed, quite the opposite. I am fully employed, earning a fairly life-sustaining salary. But certain days arrive and I appreciate the fact that guns are outlawed in New York. Otherwise, if I had the access to them shit could go down. Now that I think about it, I probably wouldn’t even be the first one to put them to use at my workplace. I guess what I’m saying is I support gun control.
On these certain days, when I feel unstable about my place in life, I tend to compulsively apply for positions at different companies. Somehow the possibility of changing cubicles appears to provide solution to all my life problems. Responses come in, under normal circumstances, at the exact moment you forgot you even applied for such position. Then an interview is set up. Some back and forth on the date is usually required, just to create an impression of your busy schedule. Then you go visits the habitat and interact with its creatures, or go through the interview process. A lot of times it starts: ‘in our company we don’t like to ask standard questions as we would like to know our candidates better…’ and then standard questions begin. Not for once did I get ‘If you were an animal…’
Tips to remember: be sure you’re detail oriented, dedicated, reliable professional with excellent communication and customer skills, responsible, fast learner, work well under pressure, who loves to work overtime and weekends, loves your boss’s jokes, doesn’t steal office supplies, doesn’t eat other people’s food from fridge, wears underwear underneath work clothes, doesn’t have an offensive smell, doesn’t get sick too much, and doesn’t watch porn at work. And you’re good to go.
I’ve been to probably at least a dozen of interviews now. I actually think I might be enjoying just this interviewing process alone. I haven’t actually landed a job as of yet. At the end of the day, I figured changing jobs would require some transitional effort, ‘I can prove myself’ type of energy. Whereas, at my current place I’ve sort of done a thing or two in the past, and received the immunity to be writing this post instead of actually working. Super convenient, if you ask me. Also, everyone is already used to my lateness routine. Whereas at a new place, I would probably need to make some initial adjustments (like coming in on time) until they’re on track with my schedule again (just give it another half an hour, she’ll be here). And, I have already identified crazies at work I can discuss zombie apocalypses with, and develop a strategic plan of action if such happens to occur (true story).

Point to take from this, go do some interviews. I think it’s a great, FREE, available tool to build your communication skills, confidence, and geographical knowledge of the area. Some solid psychological advice, if you ask me.

P.S. No image was found to be worthy of this post, so I’ll just throw this in

whenever-i-start-a-new-job-funny-picture-36262

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