Brooklyn Hipster goes undercover, or how to ruin a nice neighborhood in 12 weeks

So I guess a lot has been going on lately, and I didn’t feel like writing about it since I felt like I had to process it on my own first. And I’m not done processing it, so you good people might as well help me or something.

I might be moving. Again. You see, my Brooklyn apartment lease is expiring end of June, and that’s not really the problem since I did get the lease extension, but super indent of the building that lives directly beneath me is. Point being, he’s been a real pain in the ass. He complains about the littlest sounds, and that one time I threw a birthday party he was being a total dickster. And what’s the point of living in an apartment if you can’t throw parties in it, am I right? So anyway, I also have my significant other who lives in Long Island and for the past several years we’ve been driving back and worth to each other places like mad dogs on meth. Except for the meth part because who does meth anymore.

And recently we’ve had the craziest idea to move in together. And it’s kind of a big deal because that might potentially mean I’ll be living in suburbs. And I mean like pretty houses, green trees, clean streets suburbs. Without a single sight of graffiti within a 20 blocks radius. Probably scratch the blocks part because I’m not sure how they measure distances in suburbs. On the other hand, I’ll be seeing a lot more sun and fresh air, which also might be lethal for me. So now I’m afraid of dying. On the other hand, chances of dying in Brooklyn simply by crossing the street are a lot higher, so you see my dilemma.

We spent time cleaning out his closet this past weekend to make room for me, and that went great. Until we both had that look that this is probably a really bad idea to begin with. We’re staying hopeful.

I’ve been mostly pretty upset about living behind my nail salon lady because that’s a relationship that’s meant to last a lifetime. But I’ve been lucky to find some Long Island unfriendly Koreans who did my nails just the way I like, and fussed over me like I was the fresh new thing. Which I probably was, let’s admit most likely not much happens in that neck of the woods. Take that literally, they have a lot of woods. But the owner lady walked me to my car, and I got suspicious so I was like ‘where you from?’ and she was like ‘Queens’, and so I breathed a little and said ‘Brooklyn’, and we gave each other an approving look.

I’ll still be working in the city, and we’ll still be doing plenty of city activities. So, you won’t be reading about mindful breathing, and neat crochet tricks anytime soon. But this whole idea undermines the ‘Guide to hipster life, Brooklyn style’ of the blog. I might change it to ‘Brooklyn Hipster goes undercover, or how to ruin a nice neighborhood in 12 weeks’.

Stay tuned.

And help me move?


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2 thoughts on “Brooklyn Hipster goes undercover, or how to ruin a nice neighborhood in 12 weeks

  1. It’s a real dilema, millions of people arr dreaming to move to “suburbs” like those you are taking about, but i feel your sadness….. cheer up and it’ll be all good i’m sure, you will get used to it pretty fast, no doubt 🙂

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